Get Off Rachel Dolezal’s A**! (or Things to Remember When Discussing The ‘Fake’ Black Lady)

There are couple of things that I think people have forgotten as the national discussion of Rachel Dolezal and her racial identity hit the tipping point:

We’re talking about a person here. The intense scrutiny and judgement that this woman has been subject to (a complete stranger to 99.9% of us) is insane and cruel. Questions about her mental health have no place in the conversation. Passing is not a new concept in the United States and I’ve never heard it described as the actions of the dishonest or mentally disturbed; true, often it is a minority member who assumes the identity of a person of the dominant culture, but sometimes, that is not the case. This is, ultimately, no one’s business. Her identification as Black doesn’t affect anyone other than herself. The implication that her positions as a chairman on a city board and as professor at a local University were due to her identification as Black (or Bi-Racial) are not likely given that Washington State enacted an affirmative action ban (known as Initiative 200) which reads, “the state shall not discriminate against, or grant preferential treatment to, any individual or groups on the basis of race, sex, color, ethnicity or national origin in the operation of public employment, public education or public contracting.” So if she had been hired based on what box she checked, her employers were breaking the law, not her.

What about the pursuit of happiness? Remember that oh so important clause in the Declaration of Independence? Well, that vision isn’t determined by the electorate or by what makes sense to the general public. It is a singular decision which, within legal limits, should be respected and protected.

Airing dirty laundry is now a form of honesty? That’s news to me. The fact that Rachel’s parents were the ones that outed her is jaw-dropping and that they justify subjecting their daughter to public humiliation under the guise of telling the truth is worse. Would this still be acceptable if they had outed her as a lesbian and she were in the closet? Or as having been born male and she were living as a transgendered woman? Respect of privacy is a hard expectation nowadays, but amongst family…isn’t there some kind of implied Omerta code? Now that some of the family issues have come to light (Dolezal’s brother is on trial for child abuse and her mother blames her for supposedly initiating the investigation), it shades the parents’ motives as perhaps a bit vindictive.

Trans-racial is not a thing. This is passing. We don’t have to create a new terminology for it. And we should also stop comparing it with gender dysphoria, which it doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to; one is about a physical need to feel right in one’s body, the other, about a social need to fit in right in one’s community. Though much is made of her ‘transformation,’ Dolezal’s look isn’t that big a deal (is she supposed look the same way she did as a teenager?), but her motives are. If she decided to live life as a black woman to better serve (or be given opportunity to serve) the community, or to share, in a firsthand way, the cultural experience of her children, then she succeeded and should be left alone.

The Biggest Loser Loses

If you didn’t watch the live finale last night, check the video to get caught up.

 I’m a fairweather fan of the series, watching when there’s an interesting contestant or twist. This season had both with Ruben Studdard (American Idol Season 2 winner) and the theme of second chances, which allowed eliminated players opportunities to get back in the game. However, all of the peaks and valleys of the season were quickly overshadowed when eventual winner, Rachel Fredrickson, revealed her 155lb weight loss, setting a new show record for weight loss percentage at 59.62%. Such a feat would usually be showered with effusive accolades, but this time, this season’s champion looked skeletal and unhealthy, in stark contrast to her fellow contestants. When she made her big entrance, the looks on Jillian and Bob’s (the team trainers) faces said it all; an ‘oh my God’ was clearly visible coming off of Jillian’s lips. Even Allison Sweeney, the show’s host, couldn’t keep the look of concern hidden, quickly switching on a painted grin when Rachel turned to hug her after the big win. The show’s Facebook page was lit up with activity during last night’s finale, many commenting on the possible backlash that might follow TBL if changes aren’t made to ensure that competitors lose weight in a healthy way, perhaps by maintaining an appropriate BMI. In the midst of the controversy, there’s been no comment from the show or trainers outside of the typical congratulations, so I looked forward to the Today show interview with Fredrickson, hoping that they might ask her about the feedback some fans have been giving, but no such luck. I’m not sure what was worse, the possible health issue this woman might be having or the complete lack of journalistic inquiry that the Today show hosts showed; the conversation never veered from compliments and the cliche. I shouldn’t be surprised since the Biggest Loser airs on the same network (NBC) as Today, so they likely wanted to avoid controversy. And in an effort to avoid rocking the boat, NBC, Today and the Biggest Loser missed an opportunity to build interest based on how well they could handle such a sensitive issue opting instead for the ‘company line’ and possible lost viewership.

#TeamKate

I listened, read and watched the media barrage after Kate Gosselin and her 13-year old twins, Mady and Cara, were interviewed on the Today show and I guess I must’ve been watching something else. Did I think Mady’s slow answers and Cara’s non-answers humiliated their mom? Yes. Did I think that Kate snapping her fingers at Mady and telling her to, ‘use her words,’ was inappropriate? Absolutely, and in hindsight, all of them may regret their actions, but I also think (as a former fan of Jon and Kate Plus Eight) that Cara is not the most talkative child, which might be why Kate focused on Mady speaking so much. Were we watching evidence of the ‘damage,’ as Samantha Guthrie (of the Today show) put it, from years of being in the spotlight or simply two teenagers acting like, well, teenagers?

I felt terrible for Kate, for the way she was being vilified and the for the way Guthrie implied that her children were being harmed by her actions. What’s curious to me is that there’s all this talk of Kate pushing her kids to be in the spotlight, but there was no talk of upcoming TV opportunities or the kids signing with agencies or management. I don’t know what’s going on in the Gosselin household, but I do know that Kate is the primary caregiver and custodian of eight children, none of whom we hear or read about in the press, acting up in school or being all-around terrors. Everyone’s talking about her People cover and her apparent hunger for fame, but no one’s talking about the likely impetus for her doing the cover story: Jon’s exclusive with InTouch Weekly about their children living in a ‘House of Horrors,’ with a pissed-off looking Kate on the front page.

The minute Jon files for custody, maybe I’ll believe that his concerns are genuine; or if Child Services comes a-knockin,’ I’ll reconsider, but until then, Kate Gosselin is a stand up mother who is dealing with tremendous pressure from outsiders, which can crack even the steeliest of individuals. It’s a shame that a five-minute moment on TV has somehow come to define her as a parent. If TV can make or break a reputation, then I submit the family’s last appearance on Celebrity Wife Swap (ok, a bit ironic, I know): Kate runs their home like a well-oiled machine, maybe strict, but her children appeared disciplined and thrived under the structure and what was most touching was how much she loves being a mom; she takes it seriously and it’s the primary description that she has for herself. When she was reunited with her children after the swap, you could see that the love in this family was reciprocal and effusive.